Goodbye, old friend!

This is a post which I wrote the day after I moved out of my previous apartment.

Everyone has their routines, like morning chores or commuting to work or buying groceries, routines that people give little or no thought to, activities that just happen in everyday life when most people are busy planning other things. All of it changes when you know that this is probably the last time you are going to do what used to be just a routine in your life.

Yesterday when I walked to my apartment from the train station, I took my time to do it. I enjoyed the sunset more than I use to, forgot to cross the road since I stayed longer at the signal, simply looking around, got immersed in the beauty of the blue sky during twilight (my favorite time of the day) even though I have seen many times, all of this because I didn't want let go of that feeling, the feeling which I get when I am around that neighborhood for a random walk to the nearby shop or a Saturday morning jogging session, when the feelings are always that of hopes and dreams.

I didn't want to let go because, it was time for us to move out from our apartment, the place where I started my life with the love of my life, the place where we not only lived, but enjoyed every bit of it, for the last two years. The place which gave us nothing but happiness, the place which is full of happy memories, laughter and energy, the place which we set up from scratch, where we painted the walls with “loud” colors, the place which automatically gets transformed to a party place every Friday night, the place which we transformed from a mere apartment to our home.

When its time for us to move on, we all think about the time when we started it and it never looks that far into the past, it always feels like yesterday. The apartment was no different. It gave us a lot of memories to cherish for the rest of our lives. Each of those walls or windows had some special memory etched to it. The place never stopped inspiring and motivating us.

By the time we were done with cleaning and packing the last of the stuff, it was late night. Still we just sat there for a while thinking about all those nostalgic moments. Both of us felt heavy at heart. We felt that the apartment has a soul, one which we created out of our own soul, our lives, one which we hope will follow us, no matter wherever we go.

The last of the beer cans we consumed before passing on the keys to the landlord

Something’s, I will never get over with!

I felt it again, the same feelings which I felt around 7 years back, when I had to leave everything I knew in my life behind and had to step out in to the open world on my own – yes, I am talking about the time when I graduated. I saw the same sequence of events happening all over again, even though the environment and the people were totally different. It was as though history was repeating itself all over again.

Since I work in a university, I got the privilege of being part of a student club. Last weekend, it was their big annual event and as a club member, I also decided to do my part by helping them out. At first, I was a bit irritated due to the fact that I will loose a hard earned weekend and also I had to get up early (believe me, I cant remember the last time I did that). But it turned out to be way better than what I expected.

I got the opportunity of being in the middle of a bunch of highly motivated undergrad students who are organizing an event. Any one who had organized an event in their school/college days knows how it feels like. It’s too damn hectic and tiring at the time of the event. You have to run around fixing stuff, manage others, and no matter how good the planning is, things go haywire all the time.  But after the event, when you look back, you get the satisfaction of a great achievement. And you feel more bonded with your teammates.

All these totally reminded me of the events I had been part of organizing, during my undergrad days. Even though I didn’t do much this time, I got a feel of it. It was a kind of Déjà vu for me. The people who did marketing/publicity reminded me of those times when we went around looking for sponsors or travelled far and wide with the posters of the events. I could correlate almost anything I saw there to my college days, like the registration team or the participation in the events or rushing with a last minute change or people sleeping in the organizing area who were tired to death. I even witnessed people having crushes on others.

But the moment that inspired me to write this blog happened after the event. When it was only the club members, the juniors decided to give going away presents to the graduating students from the club. There was this very friendly girl among them who got totally surprised by this and as I expected, got emotionally overwhelmed. Tears started flowing from her eyes. The gift only made things worse. It was a collage with all those great moments with her friends. Gosh, that’s when I went back to the time when we all sang ‘Kabhi Alvida na Kehana (never say goodbye)’. I wanted to pass on to her something a very good friend of mine told me precisely at the time when I was feeling really depressed about leaving college. “Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it has happened.” But then I thought it’s better to let her figure it out on her own. Besides, I am never good with words at moments like these.

I do wonder sometimes, why do we need “goodbyes” and “thank you”s? I feel it too formal. For me, the best thing to do is to just walk away. No “goodbyes”, no “see you”s; just like you are coming back the next day. We don’t say goodbye at the end of a typical day. People say “One must move on when its time to move on”. There are times when I think I have moved on from a lot of things. But moments like these prove me wrong, that no matter what, I won’t be able to get over with some things, that even now, I look back in time and long to relive those crazy & nostalgic moments of my life.

Back to College Days: Trip to Melaka, Malaysia

I was going nuts trying to crack my wireless protocols assignment when that mail popped up in my maibox. “Trip to Melaka, Organized by NUS”, anyone interested? I believe in a principle which goes like, “Never say No to friends”. That’s how it all began.
Day: February 28, 2009, Saturday
Time: 0630

No no, its not the time when I woke up to study, but it was the time we gathered in front of the sports hall (our gathering point) to start our trip. I had no idea what to expect or what exactly is this trip about and what is there is Melaka. For me, it’s all about spending time with my friends and taking a break from my hectic schedule. So I didn’t have any expectation about my first international trip except that I knew there will be one more county’s stamp in my passport. But it turned out to be one of the most memorable days in my life and I went through a lot of feelings I thought was lost forever - the feelings and colors of college days - it felt like being back in my undergrad days.

Just like a dream!

A beautiful Chinese Letter carved in a rock in a temple. I have no idea what this means!

Old drawings in the wall of a temple

Our lunch and dinner was fabulous.

There are 2 things I like for a meal.
1. A delicious meal, as usual
2. A good company to start digging in to the task
And this was one of those rare occasions when I had both. For both lunch and dinner, there were around 7-9 dishes, with chicken, crab, prawns, fish, shark, vegetables (I didn’t concentrate in this area much), and dessert. Also, I think they were authentic Malay dishes, but since all of us were Indians, we had not much choice to get clear idea about the names of the dishes. Even if there were some means to get to know the names of the dishes, I seriously doubt we would have done that, ‘cos we were all very busy ‘fighting’ across the table that there was no time to talk.

A busy Melakan Street.

Since the city is kind of an old city, the streets are narrow. The buildings were painted really colorfully and you don’t get the feeling of a city.

In front of the Church of Christ

Who we are? (Click on the photo to read)

From Right
My House Owner : Aniket (My Housemate and a very dear friend)
My Financer : Ashwin (Friends for past 9 years)
Would be Dr. : Karthik (A new guy I met on the trip day, doing PhD in NUS)
Possible Roommate : Sampath (A possible future roommate)
Shashi Sir : Robin (A great friend who is my current roommate)
From Singapore : Girish (He is from Singapore itself)
Classified : Classified (;))
The Trouble Maker : Srijith (Karakku company)
Me : Me (You put your definition in the comment section)

A busy day in the Museum

Stairs to the courtyard or heaven?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Melakan Street: A view from the Top

An Ancient church in Melaka

This church - I think the name is St. Francis Chruch - is located on top of a small hill from where you get a really gorgeous view. It really was fun and soothing being there, enjoying the wind, and the songs of the native singers and there were several artists doing live drawing/paintings.

The Native Singers

A View from the Church

Tea Time: A Coffee shop in Melaka

Yeah, The Trouble Makers

No intro needed I guess. We went around looking for a coffee shop and had some fun and got lost from the group. We had to roam around for a while to find the group. Since it was another country, our mobiles didn’t work, we went back to the place where we started and the group was gone. Our choices were to go back to Singapore on our own - The Red Bus - or to go to the police station and ask for help. Before choosing from the above options, we asked some of the pedestrians for their mobile and called one of our friends and somehow got back to bus. And we heard some ‘sweet’ words from the ‘nice’ people who were waiting for us. The poor tour guide went around looking for us and came back exhausted to report he couldn’t find us, and we were there. Since he was a very good person, he didn’t tell us anything.

The End: The GSS group from NUS

I would like to thank all of my friends and whoever else who made that trip possible, because of whom I had one of the most memorable days in my life.
More Photos @ http://picasaweb.google.com/gssmalacca/TripToMelakaMalaysiaFromGSSNUSByManuIgnatius?#

ps: There are a lot more things I would love to write about this trip, but I am too sleepy now. Also, this was supposed to be a cultural trip.

Farewell Bangalore

Dear Bangalore,
I still remember the day I first set my sight on you. Little did I know that you will play a crucial role in my life. It was in 2002, during my engineering days. I was on my 5th semester tour. I can still feel the cold climate and the smell of the fresh flowers. Those big shopping malls, the pubs and the ultra modern folks (chics) here instantly made you one of my dream cities. All those stories about software professionals making a nice living here, oh! man, I had decided that you are the one city I want to be in.

Fall 2003
I came again for the 7th semester tour and by that time me and my friends wanted to spend some quality time here with you and that’s one main reason we chose to do our final year project here. Those were the days, when I started loving you – fall 2003. I think I loved everything about you. The New Year (2004) celebrations in Brigade road – I don’t think I will ever forget it. Even I loved the journeys to and from my native to you.

Again
Again, you crossed path with my life even if not for long in spring 2005 in when I started ‘hunting’ for a job. But fortunately or unfortunately, I got my job in Trivandrum. Then again, I knew that someday I am going to come back to you. And that’s why, when I got an offer from here, I was really excited. But before coming here, I heard many rumors about the pathetic traffic conditions, the slowly disappearing cold climate etc.

Expectations
What I expected was not what I saw in here. A city which is so polluted with dust and garbage, roads filled with vehicles and dogs, malls and shop keepers who wanted to grab the money in my pocket to theirs, auto rickshaw drivers who will kill if they get a chance etc. I really got scared at first seeing the changed you and because of the change in climatic conditions, I was having fever, cold etc on a regular basis. I even thought about leaving you. My regular readers are aware of my attitude towards you, I guess.

Time is a healer
Getting used to things we confront daily is a quality (good or bad?) of the human race. Slowly I started liking you. One important thing I like about you is the personal space you gave me. Also the technological community here and the exposure I got from you were simply amazing. I realized there is a world like this. It totally changed my outlook towards life itself. I had a very good team and work environment, a new circle of friends, lots of parties to attend, all those nice hotels where I could try different variety of dishes, the beautiful climate which helped me maximizing my artistic talents and so on.

Farewell
Finally the time has come for me to move on. In this journey of life, I have reached a point where I have to part with you, my beautiful friend. I have no idea what is there in store for me in the future. May be I will fall in love with the next city I am moving to. May be I am never going to come back to you. But looking back now, I can see vividly, the influence you have in my life. With so many challenges, experiences, happy times, sad times, you have a very special place in my heart. And that place will ever be there, no matter where I go or what I become. I really hope I will be able to come back some day to you and I know, if that day comes, you will be here with your warm welcome, just like you welcome anyone who comes to you. Farewell Bangalore.

With warm love and regards
- Manu

My Best Friend’s Wedding

Day I [Before he came]

It was with a bit of amazement that I took his call. He is one of my best friends. We stayed together for around 7yrs, throughout college days and even after getting a job until he left to US. It’s very unusual for him to call me at this time of the day. Anyway, I had a hint that he might be coming home for vacation.

“Yeah, tell me da”, I said.

“I’m coming next month”, came the answer.

My assumption was correct. He actually is coming.

“How long?”

“4 weeks”

Wow, great, I thought. My mind started planning. I highlighted 4 weeks in my calendar.

“I marked the dates, so what plans?”

“Its my marriage”

“What?, you are kidding right?”

“Nope”

“Holy mother of f***ing ****, congrats man!”, I had a hunch that it might happen within 1-2 yrs. But never did I thought this fast. I was surprised.

I have to apply for leave, have to book the tickets to my native. My mind was racing about the ‘TODO’s.

“Ok man, see ya soon. Mail me the details later”, I cut the call.

Then again, I thought about our times together. He is a friend with whom I didn’t have to talk much. Just silence is enough. When I had difficult times, I used to start my days by crying on his shoulders. I suddenly missed him and those days. Even I felt jealously towards his girlfriend. She is also a good friend of mine. I wrote a mail congratulating them.

I couldn’t get exactly what my feeling was. Happiness? Jealousy? Missing Him?

Day II [Before his marriage]

“Hey da, tell me. How are the preps for your marriage? Only 3 more days na? I can’t wait to get there. What are our plans for the bachelor’s party? What do I need to bring from here?” I couldn’t stop asking questions. There were many more. I wanted to be with him as soon as possible.

Tomorrow, I can go tomorrow, I thought.

“Hey man, listen. There has been a problem.”

“Problem? What problem?”

“The function has been postponed”

“What? What happened?” I didn’t know what to tell him or ask him. We both were not that good with words.

“One of my relatives passed away. So we thought we will do it some other time.”

“Oh! Ok. So, what are you going to do this weekend?, I’ll be coming anyway. We can have some fun.” I proposed.

“Nothing specific”, he said.

“Wait, I’ll cancel my tickets, you come here. Just like the old times. There won’t be any of our friends here in Bangalore, ‘cos everyone is going to Kerala to attend your marriage. So, its just you and me.”

“Done”

“See ya on Sunday”, I said.

Day III [Marriage Day]

“Hey man, here I am”, he said.

“Congrats, today is your marriage day right?”

“Yeah! Ha ha”

We had breakfast, went to some shopping malls. We walked and talked like there is no tomorrow. We had his ‘marriage’ lunch from a Italian restaurant. I pretended to be his bride. ;) There was slight drizzling by that time. We enjoyed it. By evening, we bought some wine and a variety of non-veg dishes and went home. Just sat there, had some wine, beer & vodka and watched TV. And he celebrated his ‘supposed to be’ first night in my apartment alone ;).

The next day I took off from my office and we roamed around, bought whatever we felt like buying, did whatever we felt like doing and by evening, we were so tired that, I couldn’t even climb 2 steps to a restaurant . He extended his stay for one more day. Next day evening, by the time he had to board the bus, we both became silent again. I saw him off, walked slowly back to my apartment.

If his marriage had not been postponed, we could never have those moments. “Marriage can happen anytime, but times like this come once in your life”. For the next one week, I was completely in the old times. Those 2-3 days were one of the best in my life.

Memories

Sometimes in life, some instances or moments or even a period of time, affects you so deeply that, it goes deep in to your memory, so deep that it will be there forever. You may not be remembering it all the time. But all its required to bring back all those feelings is just a music or a smell or a view or a season or something like that which we usually don’t give much importance to. We may not have realized it when we were experiencing it, that all these factors have affected us so much.

Sometimes we may be busy doing things and suddenly something, may be a smell of the fallen leaves of the winter, or a piece of music which used to be your favorite and then long forgotten, it will shock you, you feel the time slowing down, you slowly come to the present, look around or feel around, your brain rapidly searching for that ‘déjà vu’ [been there, done that] feeling, what is it? I have been here or experienced something similar. Everything that was inside your head seems to vanish. You start to think about the memory of yours which changed your day.

I was driving to my friend’s place which is also near to where I did my college days. Music was playing in the car. It was winter and the trees on both sides of the road have shed almost all their leaves. I haven’t noticed any of these until the song changed to one I used to love when I was in college. I and my friends used to go for trips and this was our song for almost all the occasion. Even in the exam mornings, for inspiration, to lighten up our moods we used to play that song. Suddenly I was pulled to the past, I was riding along with my friends hearing the song. I completely forgot what I am supposed to be doing, and I became the old graduation student. I rode straight to my college. Since it was the X’mas vacation, the place was deserted. I stopped my car, walked towards the college building. I stayed there for sometime. The smell of the air, the color of the place, the calm of the mountains near, I desperately wanted to go back to the past, meet all my friends talk to them. I thought about my girl friend, I missed her. I stayed there for some more time, wishing that some miracle will happen and will transport me back to one of those beautiful moments where we all were together and happy. Only when I walked back to my car that I realized my eyes were filled with tears. Then I remembered something said by one of my best friends “Don’t be sad that it is over, but be happy that it has happened to you” while we graduated and had to leave the college.

ps: What I have written here is similar to what happened to me during this X’mas holidays.