Something’s, I will never get over with!

I felt it again, the same feelings which I felt around 7 years back, when I had to leave everything I knew in my life behind and had to step out in to the open world on my own – yes, I am talking about the time when I graduated. I saw the same sequence of events happening all over again, even though the environment and the people were totally different. It was as though history was repeating itself all over again.

Since I work in a university, I got the privilege of being part of a student club. Last weekend, it was their big annual event and as a club member, I also decided to do my part by helping them out. At first, I was a bit irritated due to the fact that I will loose a hard earned weekend and also I had to get up early (believe me, I cant remember the last time I did that). But it turned out to be way better than what I expected.

I got the opportunity of being in the middle of a bunch of highly motivated undergrad students who are organizing an event. Any one who had organized an event in their school/college days knows how it feels like. It’s too damn hectic and tiring at the time of the event. You have to run around fixing stuff, manage others, and no matter how good the planning is, things go haywire all the time.  But after the event, when you look back, you get the satisfaction of a great achievement. And you feel more bonded with your teammates.

All these totally reminded me of the events I had been part of organizing, during my undergrad days. Even though I didn’t do much this time, I got a feel of it. It was a kind of Déjà vu for me. The people who did marketing/publicity reminded me of those times when we went around looking for sponsors or travelled far and wide with the posters of the events. I could correlate almost anything I saw there to my college days, like the registration team or the participation in the events or rushing with a last minute change or people sleeping in the organizing area who were tired to death. I even witnessed people having crushes on others.

But the moment that inspired me to write this blog happened after the event. When it was only the club members, the juniors decided to give going away presents to the graduating students from the club. There was this very friendly girl among them who got totally surprised by this and as I expected, got emotionally overwhelmed. Tears started flowing from her eyes. The gift only made things worse. It was a collage with all those great moments with her friends. Gosh, that’s when I went back to the time when we all sang ‘Kabhi Alvida na Kehana (never say goodbye)’. I wanted to pass on to her something a very good friend of mine told me precisely at the time when I was feeling really depressed about leaving college. “Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it has happened.” But then I thought it’s better to let her figure it out on her own. Besides, I am never good with words at moments like these.

I do wonder sometimes, why do we need “goodbyes” and “thank you”s? I feel it too formal. For me, the best thing to do is to just walk away. No “goodbyes”, no “see you”s; just like you are coming back the next day. We don’t say goodbye at the end of a typical day. People say “One must move on when its time to move on”. There are times when I think I have moved on from a lot of things. But moments like these prove me wrong, that no matter what, I won’t be able to get over with some things, that even now, I look back in time and long to relive those crazy & nostalgic moments of my life.

Once in a while…

There were times when I dreamed about spending my life with someone I really felt like spending my life with. I don’t know when, but somewhere along my life, I realized it’s just another dream. And I thought it will exist only in my dreams or in my imagination, where I meet a true friend, who understand the real me, even better than I know myself, with whom, I could be the real me.
Life started becoming silent. Time seemed to stand still. No matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find a reason to move on. I had everything I wanted. I couldn’t even find any dreams or hopes about future. Too much silence in my life, and even in the middle of a concert, I felt alone. Life is ironic. You don’t get what you want when you want. There was a million times when I longed for a friend, with whom I could be comfortable by being silent. And when I expected a lot and nothing came along the way, I got accustomed. Hope had no place in my life, not anymore.
And suddenly one day, I noticed my life changing. I didn’t know what the reason was, but things began making more sense. Even the wind or the trees began making sense. I started noticing flowers. I had no idea, what was happening. I simply sensed some change, or I felt life’s getting exciting. I liked walking alone in the rain. I longed to be in solitude, the same loneliness that I hated the most about my life. Even songs started making sense to me. World started becoming more and more colorful for me.
It was her. I met her at the coffee house. First I felt she was too noisy, she was talking all along. I wanted to get rid of her so that I could finish reading my book. But, she came to me and asked, “Beautiful book, can I have a look?” I was a bit surprised. No one asked me anything anymore. The next day I went to the coffee house at the same time to get my book back, she was there. We talked for some time. I went back home. The next day, she wanted some help with her work, and we did it together. I felt good. The next day, I got there early, she was there, and we spent a lot of time together. I sensed that she was able to read my mind or she said the things I wanted to say. She felt it too. By the time I was about to leave, she hugged me and told me she liked me and I am like an angel to her. I hugged her back. I didn’t know what to say. She looked like she was glowing and she was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.
I had this feeling that I was at the tip of a mountain, so tall, even taller than the clouds, where I always wanted to be, but the weird part of it, I knew that I was about to fall. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get rid of that feeling. I wanted to get more time with her. I took off from my work the next day and I waited there for her. She didn’t come. I was sad, but somehow I expected this would happen. I didn’t know how to contact her. All I knew was her name. I was there at the coffee shop every day, waiting for her. But she never came.
My life had changed forever. I wrote to one of my close friends,
“Dear friend,
You know me long enough to know that I was always too choosy about friends. You used to tell me that someday, I will come across a person, a person who simply walks in to my life from somewhere, who will turn my world around. Yeah, that happened to me. It was good, better than anything I have ever known. But, she just walked away, leaving behind her footprints. No good bye’s, no see ya’s, she simply walked away. Now the only thing left for me is hope, a hope that someday I will get to see her, and if I am lucky, I get to spend some time with her, even If I know for sure that I will never be able to even hear about her. Why are all these things happening to me?”
His reply contained only one sentence, “Life is tough, my friend”.

Back to College Days: Trip to Melaka, Malaysia

I was going nuts trying to crack my wireless protocols assignment when that mail popped up in my maibox. “Trip to Melaka, Organized by NUS”, anyone interested? I believe in a principle which goes like, “Never say No to friends”. That’s how it all began.
Day: February 28, 2009, Saturday
Time: 0630

No no, its not the time when I woke up to study, but it was the time we gathered in front of the sports hall (our gathering point) to start our trip. I had no idea what to expect or what exactly is this trip about and what is there is Melaka. For me, it’s all about spending time with my friends and taking a break from my hectic schedule. So I didn’t have any expectation about my first international trip except that I knew there will be one more county’s stamp in my passport. But it turned out to be one of the most memorable days in my life and I went through a lot of feelings I thought was lost forever - the feelings and colors of college days - it felt like being back in my undergrad days.

Just like a dream!

A beautiful Chinese Letter carved in a rock in a temple. I have no idea what this means!

Old drawings in the wall of a temple

Our lunch and dinner was fabulous.

There are 2 things I like for a meal.
1. A delicious meal, as usual
2. A good company to start digging in to the task
And this was one of those rare occasions when I had both. For both lunch and dinner, there were around 7-9 dishes, with chicken, crab, prawns, fish, shark, vegetables (I didn’t concentrate in this area much), and dessert. Also, I think they were authentic Malay dishes, but since all of us were Indians, we had not much choice to get clear idea about the names of the dishes. Even if there were some means to get to know the names of the dishes, I seriously doubt we would have done that, ‘cos we were all very busy ‘fighting’ across the table that there was no time to talk.

A busy Melakan Street.

Since the city is kind of an old city, the streets are narrow. The buildings were painted really colorfully and you don’t get the feeling of a city.

In front of the Church of Christ

Who we are? (Click on the photo to read)

From Right
My House Owner : Aniket (My Housemate and a very dear friend)
My Financer : Ashwin (Friends for past 9 years)
Would be Dr. : Karthik (A new guy I met on the trip day, doing PhD in NUS)
Possible Roommate : Sampath (A possible future roommate)
Shashi Sir : Robin (A great friend who is my current roommate)
From Singapore : Girish (He is from Singapore itself)
Classified : Classified (;))
The Trouble Maker : Srijith (Karakku company)
Me : Me (You put your definition in the comment section)

A busy day in the Museum

Stairs to the courtyard or heaven?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Melakan Street: A view from the Top

An Ancient church in Melaka

This church - I think the name is St. Francis Chruch - is located on top of a small hill from where you get a really gorgeous view. It really was fun and soothing being there, enjoying the wind, and the songs of the native singers and there were several artists doing live drawing/paintings.

The Native Singers

A View from the Church

Tea Time: A Coffee shop in Melaka

Yeah, The Trouble Makers

No intro needed I guess. We went around looking for a coffee shop and had some fun and got lost from the group. We had to roam around for a while to find the group. Since it was another country, our mobiles didn’t work, we went back to the place where we started and the group was gone. Our choices were to go back to Singapore on our own - The Red Bus - or to go to the police station and ask for help. Before choosing from the above options, we asked some of the pedestrians for their mobile and called one of our friends and somehow got back to bus. And we heard some ‘sweet’ words from the ‘nice’ people who were waiting for us. The poor tour guide went around looking for us and came back exhausted to report he couldn’t find us, and we were there. Since he was a very good person, he didn’t tell us anything.

The End: The GSS group from NUS

I would like to thank all of my friends and whoever else who made that trip possible, because of whom I had one of the most memorable days in my life.
More Photos @ http://picasaweb.google.com/gssmalacca/TripToMelakaMalaysiaFromGSSNUSByManuIgnatius?#

ps: There are a lot more things I would love to write about this trip, but I am too sleepy now. Also, this was supposed to be a cultural trip.

I reached Singapore (20 days back)

Yeah, its been exactly 20 days since I reached Singapore. Its not that I was waiting for Jan 26 to write this blog, its just so happened that I was not able to write it any sooner.

Yeah, I landed here on Jan 6th morning. I was expecting my friend. He came by the time I had some currency changed and we took a taxi to the place where I was going to stay. It was a nice ride, as the Changi airport was in one side of the country and the place where I was going to stay was on the other side of the country. My friend explained the places while we were going through there. This place really is clean. And almost all the places you look, you can see the country growing upwards. Lots of sky scrapers.
In 20 -30 minutes, I reached the place where I stay - yes, that’s the time it takes for you to travel from one end of Singapore to the other end. My apartment is on the 21st floor of a building, and it is not every day, till now, that you will find yourself in the 21st floor of a building. The view is awesome.

View from My Place

By the time I started settling down, another of my friend who is my roommate came. We are both from Kerala and we had some initial talks and we concluded that our first priorities are to bath, get something to eat, get a mobile connection and call home and open a bank account if possible.
We bathed and dressed and got out to the nearest mall. The weather is almost the same as that of in Kerala, humid and warm. We found a place to get a tea/coffee and then started looking for a mobile shop. From our friends we knew that SingTel is the service provider we had to look for. I really was worried about how much time will it take for the connection to get activated as I had several experiences from India. We found a SingTel shop. Within 10-15 minutes, me and my friend was calling home to give the new number and updating other details. The process was very simple.
The next thing for us was to open a bank account. We knew the names of the banks we had to look for, POSB (Post Office and Savings Bank) or DBS (Development Bank of Singapore). I didn’t want to do this on the first day of our arrival since I was really tired and opening a bank account requires so many formalities and all. But to our surprise, we finished all the formalities and I had a bank account, with ATM card and internet banking within 20minutes.
Here are some facts about Singapore. Everything about Singapore is EFFICIENT and CLEAN. There is no ethnic group as a Singaporean, and the ethnic groups here are Chinese, Indians (8%), Malay and Eurasians. Out of the whole population, around 25% are foreigners. Since there are so many familiar Indian faces, you won’t really feel that you are in a foreign country. As compared to India, cost of travel and living are high here. But the standards are equally high here.

Roads in Singapore – View from a sky pass

The next day, we went to university and registered. And so we officially became students in National University of Singapore. This time we didn’t even have to go to the embassy to get our student passes, they were there in the university and we just had to go and collect them. By the time I completed my registration, I had made some friends here and one of my best friends was here on transit. We all had a nice time. Since Singapore is a small place, it will take only around 3-4 days for you to explore the whole place.
I think I have visited almost all tourist places in Singapore, except for the ones which require entry passes, ‘cos they are really costly. I have been to Little India - its small India, you’ll really fell like you have reached India and I met some mallu people there, China Town - since the Chinese new year was due, that place was awesome, Sentosa - An island theme park, Clarke Quay, Raffles Place - The place where there is a giant Mer-lion, Chinese/Japanese Garden - very near to the place I stay etc etc. I even made it to the republic day celebrations here in the Indian embassy today. It was nicer than most of the celebrations happening in our places.
I want to write a blog about every single one of those expeditions and my experiences in singapore. I hope I will be able to make it. Since the classes have already started, I have lots and lots to study and work on. Still I am pretty sure that I will find time to update about my experiences here to bug my readers…
Here are some photos..

Chinese/Japanese Garden

China Town

Underwater World - Sentosa

Raffles Place - Merlion: With my friends

Near City Hall

Gaint Wheel near the Mer-lion Statue

Farewell Bangalore

Dear Bangalore,
I still remember the day I first set my sight on you. Little did I know that you will play a crucial role in my life. It was in 2002, during my engineering days. I was on my 5th semester tour. I can still feel the cold climate and the smell of the fresh flowers. Those big shopping malls, the pubs and the ultra modern folks (chics) here instantly made you one of my dream cities. All those stories about software professionals making a nice living here, oh! man, I had decided that you are the one city I want to be in.

Fall 2003
I came again for the 7th semester tour and by that time me and my friends wanted to spend some quality time here with you and that’s one main reason we chose to do our final year project here. Those were the days, when I started loving you – fall 2003. I think I loved everything about you. The New Year (2004) celebrations in Brigade road – I don’t think I will ever forget it. Even I loved the journeys to and from my native to you.

Again
Again, you crossed path with my life even if not for long in spring 2005 in when I started ‘hunting’ for a job. But fortunately or unfortunately, I got my job in Trivandrum. Then again, I knew that someday I am going to come back to you. And that’s why, when I got an offer from here, I was really excited. But before coming here, I heard many rumors about the pathetic traffic conditions, the slowly disappearing cold climate etc.

Expectations
What I expected was not what I saw in here. A city which is so polluted with dust and garbage, roads filled with vehicles and dogs, malls and shop keepers who wanted to grab the money in my pocket to theirs, auto rickshaw drivers who will kill if they get a chance etc. I really got scared at first seeing the changed you and because of the change in climatic conditions, I was having fever, cold etc on a regular basis. I even thought about leaving you. My regular readers are aware of my attitude towards you, I guess.

Time is a healer
Getting used to things we confront daily is a quality (good or bad?) of the human race. Slowly I started liking you. One important thing I like about you is the personal space you gave me. Also the technological community here and the exposure I got from you were simply amazing. I realized there is a world like this. It totally changed my outlook towards life itself. I had a very good team and work environment, a new circle of friends, lots of parties to attend, all those nice hotels where I could try different variety of dishes, the beautiful climate which helped me maximizing my artistic talents and so on.

Farewell
Finally the time has come for me to move on. In this journey of life, I have reached a point where I have to part with you, my beautiful friend. I have no idea what is there in store for me in the future. May be I will fall in love with the next city I am moving to. May be I am never going to come back to you. But looking back now, I can see vividly, the influence you have in my life. With so many challenges, experiences, happy times, sad times, you have a very special place in my heart. And that place will ever be there, no matter where I go or what I become. I really hope I will be able to come back some day to you and I know, if that day comes, you will be here with your warm welcome, just like you welcome anyone who comes to you. Farewell Bangalore.

With warm love and regards
- Manu

A Butterfly Life

Have you ever heard of the concept of ‘Butterfly life’? I’ve seen it in a movie some years back. I forgot the name of the movie. But it really touched me. That movie is basically a narration. The narrator always carries a stop watch with him. Some times he clicks it. His lover once asks him why he is carrying it always. Then he replies, “ I am adding these moments to my butterfly life. Let me explain. Have you ever noticed butterflies? How beautiful they are? How lovely and happy they appear always? Ever wondered about how long they live? After coming out from the cocoon, some of their life span is only around one day. In that one day, they do everything. They drink honey, fly and play a lot, fall in love, mate with their partners, reproduce, enjoy their life, do everything they can do in one day and go to a peaceful sleep by the end of the day. A sleep from which they will never wake up. Yet they enjoy their entire life, our single day, or 24 hours. They take the maximum out of it. With no complains, no worries, they spent their whole life happily. We, the humans, our life span is around 70-80years. Yet how many years, months, days and hours we waste worrying or planning over the silly things which may mean nothing to us in the end. So whenever I think I am spending my time truly happy, like a butterfly, I click this stop watch to add the time to my share of butterfly life”

Saying this he checked his watch and said “I have lived over 19 hours of butterfly life in the last 30 years since I have started this”

This touched me deeply. That was one of the situations, I really thought about how I spend the time of my one typical day. One day mean nothing to us, most of the days we spend meaningless doing nothing of much importance, without even realizing the value of the time we ware wasting. Only when I heard this that I realized the value of each moment in our life and wondered how precious moments can be. Later there should be no regrets. Because I have read this some where,

“Dream what you want to dream
Go where you want to go
Be what you want to be
Because you’ve only one life
And one chance to do all the
Thing you want to do”

ps: What I have described here may not be exactly same as in the movie [the dialogue], but the sum and substance is the same.